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Only the weekend left then I'm going back to Piedmont. I've got the usual meds on tuesday, then a two-week break, then the monthly shot, and then I'll be back here. I'm really getting the hang of this! I've learned how to stock the cupboards here with nonperishable food, when to book the sessions with my therapist, and how to plan activities based on where I am on any given week. And I've bought travel-sized Lush soaps and shampoos, so I can leave one in each house and always smell great. ^^


Speaking of, my Adagio Teas order finally arrived. I decided to replenish the tea reserves here a month ago, but as always the package got stuck at customs in Milan, and they sent me a bunch of forms to fill out and send them back, asking me crazy questions about my package, like "does it contain seal skins? does it contain products forbidden by the EU like animal bones or explosives?" or basically "are you a terrorist/serial killer?". What the heck. What do people order from the States?!


Other than that I've been enjoying this little holiday a lot. I went to therapy on the hottest autumn day ever, so I took a little stroll downtown before and after, soaking in the sunlight and taking pictures of my beautiful sun-kissed city without the hassle of the hordes of tourists. I love the fall. I resumed playing the drums and the ukulele, but always remembering to stretch because my muscles are still weak and soft.


And I finally managed to take a good picture of Sakura! You know, one where her butt doesn't occupy 90% of the screen. :D The funny thing is, I took this picture when I was really angry with her. I had been searching for her for twenty minutes, and she wasn't answering when I called her, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I started thinking she might have run out of the door, or crazy stuff like that, and then I found her. She had opened my suitcase, that I keep under my bed, and she'd been sleeping inside it the whole time. So I took this picture five minutes later while I was complaining with my aunt on the phone of how Sakura had given me such a scare and wouldn't respond when I called, and sent it with the caption "and she's just sitting here looking all innocent too!".

It is a pretty picture though. :D
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: if the stars were mine - melody gardot
The reason for my absence from these shores for the past few days is that winter in Piedmont arrived all in one day, and the temperatures dropped 17 degrees overnight, so obviously on the morning I had to take the train back home I woke up with an awful cold and a terrible case of wryneck. Couldn't breathe, couldn't turn my head, it sucked. I spent the last three days eating soup while wrapped in three blankets in my favourite armchair, full of paracetamol and using my cat as a hot water bottle.

Today I feel a lot better. My neck doesn't hurt anymore, which I celebrated with an impromptu dance party in the kitchen this morning. Sakura joined in enthusiastically, and now I have a feeling she's going to sleep from exhaustion for the next three days. She's not a kitten anymore. :D The cold is almost gone too, and I can even smell things again. More or less. On friday I called everyone and moved all my appointments to next week so that I could take the weekend off to get back on my feet. It's been raining and pouring and there's even been acqua alta downtown, so I chose the right weekend to spend in bed, no kidding.
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: you're no good - linda ronstadt
Real life news first, tomorrow I got my monthly shot (still immunotherapy, but this one is a shot not a drip), then on wednesday I'll go back home to Venice for a couple of weeks. I need to call the plumber to do a minor fix on the boiler, and since the weather has already turned to the cold and damp, the sooner the better. I also have to check with the bank and the lawyer, and I have a therapy session already planned for the 18th. I have appointments, and they're not hospital-related. You have no idea how new it is, and how happy it makes me. Especially since this is one year to the week since I was first admitted to the hospital, spent a month there, and got my diagnosis. I'm already organizing a little get together with two wonderful women I shared a room with back then, to celebrate how one year later we're all healthy and free of pain. ^^

My oldest cousin has moved back with us, as she's finished with her exams and needs only to work on her graduation dissertation. We go along splendidly, and since everyone else in the family has a job, that means I do not have to spend most of the day here alone anymore. That's probably why I'm always so cheerful lately!

In fandom news, the new Rick Riordan book, Magnus Chase and the Hammer of Thor, finally arrived, along with The Answer by Rebecca Sugar. The latter I've already read, and it's even more adorable than I thought possible. I can't wait to read the former, but I'll save it for the train ride back home. Today I also bought the new Green Day album on iTunes, Revolution Radio: you know we fucked up when Green Day have to release a new political album. It's awesome, and I loved it way more than the previous triplets (Uno, Dos and Tres). I hope they'll release a couple of singles on Rock Band soon, I would love to play them!

To be fair most of my free time this past week has been spent marathoning The Flash. A little backstory here: I'm more of a Marvel girl, I watched the first season of Arrow and didn't like it, and I had watched the first couple of episodes of The Flash months ago and then forgot about it. But then last tuesday they did an Honest Trailer about this show, and they were so enthusiastic about it I got curious and started watching it again.

And holy shit, it's SO GOOD. It has an amazing plot, full of plot twists but always consistent, great character development, a very diverse cast, a lot of positive representation for adoptive families, and a main character who's good and kind, who always sees the best in people. Plus, time travel and alternate steampunk dimensions. It's like they made a list of all the things I like, and just mashed them together in one clever, funny, heart-warming show. What the hell, CW, I thought I had you figured out. I was so wrong.

So if you haven't, watch it, you'll love it. If you have, I need to talk about it with someone! Although it'll probably be mostly flailing my arms like a muppet and squealing, so you've been warned. ;)
Current Mood: dorkydorky
Current Music: youngblood - green day
what a very long day. I'm exhausted. What happened is, I went to the hospital for my monthly therapy, they did the usual blood test, put the wrong label on it, took two hours to notice, and then had to do it all over again. Then the medicine was late. I entered the hospital at 9 am, got out past 5 pm, for a drip that takes 30 minutes. I'm soooo tired. While waiting I called the plumber, and then a call-center to update the address for a magazine I subscribe to, booked the echocardiogram for November, discovered a beautiful patio hidden in the garden of the hospital and had lunch there. When we finally, finally came home my aunt cut me a banana into tiny slices like my mom used to do and poured limoncello all over it (which my mom didn't do :D ), and I ate it with a slice of chocolate cake (it was delicious, and I can't feel my tongue). Then I hid under the covers, read the new chapter of my current favourite fic (it updates every tuesday and when it's over it'll probably become my favourite fic ever) and watched the new Steven Universe shorts on my phone.

Tomorrow I'm going to the farmers' market with my aunt and then I'll take a long shower and use all my Lush products because I definitely need some relaxing me time. ^^
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: the lethal temptress - the mendoza line
day one • a song
day two • a picture
day three • a book/ebook/fanfic
day four • a website
day five • a youtube clip

Remember last year, and two years ago, when I did those Reading Challenges? I had to interrupt the 2015 one for obvious reasons, but I've been doing a 2016 one, although I've never mentioned it here before. Sorry about that. ^^" So here's a summary of what I've been reading so far, in chronological order (all hail the mighty Kindle, that weighs nothing, I can carry everywhere, and stores thousands of books at the same time!):

The Kane Chronicles novels, by Rick Riordan. From the author of Percy Jackson and Magnus Chase, a similar story but with Egyptian Gods and a non-white cast. I loved these books, but regrettably not as much as the other two series, which is a shame because I really wanted to love them more.

The Raven Cycle tetralogy by Maggie Stiefvater. I read them because everyone on tumblr was talking about them and I got curious. They are objectively good, and they have a bisexual kid and a gay kid in a relationship among the main cast, and it's a major plot point, so major kudos for that. My one problem is that the writing left me very cold, and I felt I couldn't relate to the characters at all. It was beautiful writing, but very impersonal. I'm not going to re-read them, but I definitely enjoyed them.

Then I got that terrible infection, got hospitalized for ten days, and I re-read all the Percy Jackson books on my phone. I'm a fast reader and one gets bored quickly in a hospital. Plus I had no roommate because of the infection. Fun times.

When I finally got better and went back home I started reading A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle, because they had just announced the movie and I wanted to see what it was about. It took me something like a hundred pages to realize I had already read it as a kid. And it was one of my favourite books too! I... I have no excuses. I read the second book and got halfway through the third one before giving up. I still think the first one is really beautiful, but then it gets too religious for my tastes, and way too boring, with some weird pacing issues.

Then I read Gone Girl without knowing anything about it, and I finished it in a day because it was so intriguing and I just couldn't wait to see what was coming next. I did not see the ending coming, at all. And I have to say I agree with some of the accusations of misogyny this book has recieved. While I agree with the author that we need more female villains in literature, because female characters are usually trapped in nurturing roles as that's what's expected of a woman in our society, what she did in this book was to create a female villain whose evil nature is inherently linked to her sexuality. She makes false rape accusations, gets pregnant to trap her husband, everything she does as a villain is because of her being a woman. She's not a villain who also happens to be a woman, the unicorn we readers would like to see more, she's the Psycho Bitch meninists keep rambling about. So yeah, it's a fascinating thriller and the writing is really good, but it's very misogynistic, no way around it.

It's been kind of a disappointing year for me when it comes to new novels. Right now I'm reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and so far I'm enjoying it, so maybe the tide is turning. ^^
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: a horse with no name - america
Just like I hoped, my birthday has been a turning point for me. I tend to fixate on dates and anniversaries, even too much, but sometimes that obsession does help. I feel like my birthday ended the awful year of illness and pain, and now I've started a new year of healing. I know it sounds a bit weird and new-ageish, but you know what I mean. I've spent a great week at home, I've made some wonderful new friends (thanks to capracotta, who is amazing), I've been to the bank and the restaurant and I've done laundry and everything feels normal and new at the same time. I feel like I'm taking control of my life once again, a life that includes monthly trips to the hospital, but also hanging out with my friends, going to the cinema, making marmalade with my aunt. I can do it. ^^

And in this spirit, here's an old meme because I need to start posting regularly here again, instead of only when I got news about chemo. New leaf.

day one • a song
day two • a picture
day three • a book/ebook/fanfic
day four • a website
day five • a youtube clip

And now, some fandom news! I finally watched that new Shane Black movie, The Nice Guys, and I loved it. It was funny as hell, the mystery was intriguing and had me on the edge of my seat trying to figure it out first, and Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe have excellent chemistry. Plus the little girl was amazing, I can't wait to see more of her. I wish Shane Black did more movies, and that they did better at the box office. I think I liked this one even more than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and that's one of my favourites. Highly recommended.

Brooklyn Nine Nine and Star Vs The Forces Of Evil are back, and they're both still amazing. I know I'm overdoing it with that adjective, but it's true, they're both objectively amazing shows. I still have to watch that new Once Upon A Time episode, mostly because I got derailed by Final Fantasy Type 0: I played it for a month more than a year ago, then stopped just before leaving for the final dungeon. I can't remember why. Then last weekend I finally finished it, witnessed the incredibly depressing ending (even sadder than Crisis Core's, come on!), and now I'm replaying it from start because I'm not ready to let go of these characters. And I love the gameplay. ^^ Also I hurt my shoulder playing drums. Probably the most metal thing I did all year.

So that's it for me today, but I promise to be back tomorrow.
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: c'mon - panic at the disco & fun
17 September 2016 @ 12:09 pm
Well guess what, I did it. Today I turn 33, I made it! The other day I met with my oncologist, and I thanked her for getting me to my birthday, and she was so moved and hugged me and wished me happy birthday. By the way, the exams show the new medicine is working, so next tuesday I'm leaving for two weeks back home. \o/

Yesterday I recieved my first birthday gift, a wonderful care package from space_oddity_75, with biscuits and tea and jelly beans and toblerones (even the white one!), so today I had breakfast with proper British tea, I was so happy! I'm saving the jammie dodgers for when I come back though. *_____* And my aunt baked me a cake, with pineapple and kiwis and peaches!

It's been one of the hardest years of my life, but I survived it, and I'm here. I'm really proud of myself. ^^
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: sweet dreams - eurythmics
First things first, I want to thank you all for always leaving me comments on my entries. It's sometimes really hard to answer because I get all wrapped up in my own head, but I cherish them all so very very much. It's hard to explain how important it is to know you're still in your friends' thoughts. So, thank you. ♥

Brief medical update: this new medicine seems to be working. It's only been two weeks and not full dosage yet, but it looks like it's doing his job. I'm being cautiously optimistic. Yesterday I was supposed to have the usual pet scan to check things out, but the super expensive machine broke, and they called me to say they had to postpone my appointment. So there's that. Either way next tuesday I'll do the first full dose of this new awesome medicine, so I'm very excited. Then it's my birthday, and after that I wanted to go back home for a couple of weeks, but now with having to wait for them to fix that machine all my plans have been derailed. We'll see.

And now fandom update because I do tend to only talk about my illness and meds and I need to work on that. So, let's see. I read Gone Girl, got traumatized. It is a great novel, although I'm not sure if it's really misogynistic or not. Some parts definitely are. But it's true that we never get true sociopathic female villains either. I don't know, it is confusing. I think... it is feminist to want female villains instead of always good, always kind, always nurturing women, but the way this particular character is evil is deeply feminine, in a way that's very misogynistic. At least that's what I got from it.

Last weekend we took a trip to the Alps! It was so foggy it looked like Silent Hill, but I was super excited because I hadn't been so high up (1880m!) since I was a kid, and I took lots of pictures with my phone that ended up looking like location scouting for a Wuthering Heights movie. It was fun though. :D

And I had a haircut! My hair has been growing like a pumpkin patch, so it was time to give it a proper shape. I really love how it looks, it's short and spunky. And even a bit curly in the back, which is completely new. ^^

I've been watching a few movies off my To-See folder (Argo, Spotlight, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zisshou, Lars and The Real Girl), but they were all sort of really depressing. I need to scout Netflix for something lighter and funnier! Suggestions are always welcome. ;)

I promise I'll try to update more often, and keep my life front and center, and not let the illness always take the spotlight. Love you all!
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: here comes a thought - rebecca sugar
26 August 2016 @ 07:37 pm
Here's an update: I have two medical exams in September, but today my oncologist checked my breast, said the illness is indeed progressing as we feared, and she changed my meds on the spot. I had to wait a couple of hours but they sent the new medicine up, and luckly I'm not allergic to it (remember the first chemo? good times), so today we officially started this new phase.

Technically it's not chemo, as it's still immunotherapy and has no side effects, but it's halfway there so I'm going to call it chemo to save time. I'm feeling fine, no stomachache, no aching joints, nothing. I feel a bit down, but the oncologist was very optimistic. She said it's a very new, very effective and very expensive medicine. It's only me and three other women, so I'll join them on the same day every three weeks, so that the hospital can order just one batch. Next one is on 13 September, then I have three free weeks with no side effects. I'll celebrate my birthday here with my family and then go back to Venice to celebrate it with Tati.

So this is what happened. New meds, new phase, same old fighting attitude. ^^
Current Mood: determineddetermined
I'm back! It's been some month. The shady thing was indeed shady, and I was supposed to start that new cycle of chemo a couple of weeks ago, but then I told my oncologist I've been feeling a lot better lately, and stronger, and she decided to wait another month, do more tests, and then see. Me, I've accepted the idea I need to do that new chemo and I've stopped worrying about it. I jumped back on a train and came back home in Venice to enjoy a couple of weeks of holiday before I have to go back, and start the whole process of being poked and prodded and turned inside out like a sock all over again.

I spent the first week alone at home, for the first time since this whole thing started a year ago. It was amazing and surreal, to feel strong and healthy enough not to need someone taking care of me, being able to do things like grocery shopping and cleaning the floors and so on without breaking a sweat. Last friday I had the first therapy session since last September; I've been keeping in touch with my therapist daily ever since, obviously, but this was the first actual session. I needed it so much. On monday I went to the beach with Tati and her mom and we spent the most lovely day together. Yesterday Tati and I went to the cinema to watch Star Trek Beyond, which we both loved a lot, and we've been playing Life Is Strange together. What a beautiful game! Very heartbreaking and gut-wrenching, but amazingly written and acted, wow.

And all the while I've been trying to catch Pokemon everywhere I go. Turns out downtown Venice has a lot of pokestops but almost no actual pokemons. Weird.

So this has been July for me.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: jumper - third eye blind
Sorry for disappearing on you, but it's been a crazy month. I had the usual pet scan, and most things look great and one thing looks, in their words, 'shady'. So I got another big scare, and had to do a lot of additional exams, including a very, very painful one that got me stuck in bed for two days straight afterwards. It was awful. Now we're waiting for the results next week, then I'll either keep going on with the meds I'm already doing, or start a new chemo cycle. Which sucks. But they told me that even if we have to do option B it'll be a very mild chemo, with basically no side effects and great results. Which sucks a lot less.

As soon as I felt better I hopped on a train back home: I had to take my mind off it, and see Tati and hug my cat. I've been here since saturday and I feel a lot better. Today I woke up with a mild cold, because that always happens to me with air conditioning (back at my aunt's place we're on the mountains, so there's no need for it, but here in Venice it's obligatory).

To take my mind off everything that's happened I decided to do something I should have done years ago and bought a Rooster Teeth membership, so that I can watch new Red vs Blue episodes the day they're released. And pay the creators back too. The new episode was mindblowingly amazing and so worth it!

So this has been my month so far. The doctors say it's perfectly normal, having to adjust the therapy constantly, but to me it's still been kind of a shock. I like routine, thank you very much. Next week we'll see if we actually have to do that or not, and then I'll probably come back here after the 20th. My aunt is spending a whole month with her mom, my cousin is staying in Ireland with her boyfriend until well into September, and both my uncle and other cousin work all day. I don't mind spending time alone, but that would be a bit too much.

Updates will follow when they finally tell me something. Until then I'll be on the couch hugging my cat.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: francis forever - mitski
Health update, I'm feeling a lot better! First of all, thanks for all the lovely messages on my last post, you made my day and week, I wish I could hug you all! The good news is, I'm back home until tuesday. I was feeling better, and I had lots of stuff to do (mainly taxes). Plus I really missed my best friend. And my cat. Yesterday I woke up with a cold, because the weather is crazy and my immune system isn't up to par yet, but other than that I'm really enjoying not having to worry about that stupid cvc ever again. And my nails have started to grow again, although very slowly. I'm finally getting the chemo out of my system!

From a mental point of view, things are a little murkier. It's great to be back home, but it also feels very weird. Everything is exactly the same as I left it, but I feel like a completely different person. It's jarring. It'll take me some time to get used to it again. Next wednesday I have another PET, to check if the cure is still working. I do feel fine, but I'm still really scared. It can't be helped, I guess. On the 17th it's immunotherapy time again, then I'm free for three weeks. So unless they schedule another visit/exam for the end of the month, I'll probably come back here for another couple of weeks. This is going to be my life for a while.

Not everything feels weird though. Sakura cuddles me constantly, and on my second day here I made sea salt ice cream and it came out perfect. I'm very proud of myself! And Tati came to stay here with me, which always makes me incredibly happy. I've been watching cartoons, playing videogames, and eating ice cream. It's been a great holiday. ^^
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: cough syrup - young the giant
19 May 2016 @ 07:46 pm
So you've probably wondered where I disappeared to. I was in the hospital for the last ten days. Three days after the latest trip to the hospital I developed a crazy fever, vomit, shaking, the works, and had to be rushed to the first aid. I spent a few hours there hooked to liquids, and just when it looked like I was getting better, I had a sort of seizure and stopped breathing for a few minutes. Which, by the way, was so terrifying it has now exacerbated my claustrophobia. Hurrah. So they did all their tests and it turned out I had one of those nasty infections people get in hospitals, super bacteria, because of course I did. I spent a whole week with a high fever, in horrible pain, and getting food and drink from drips because I couldn't eat anything without throwing up. I started feeling better last sunday, and today they let me go home so I can go do the usual immunotherapy tomorrow, since I skipped one with the fever and all.

I'm still feeling weak, but a lot better. At least the appetite is back. I had planned to go back home last week, I already had the train tickets and all, but that had to be postponed. The good news is, on monday I got surgery and they removed the cvc, which was the cause of the infection. So at least I don't have that anymore. I was so scared of the possibility of an infection because of that stupid thing, and all the doctors said it was so rare I shouldn't have worried, and then it happened.

So now the plan is, eat a lot of good food, avoid closed spaces, and maybe I can go back home for a week in June. I miss my cat.
Current Mood: tiredtired
Guess what I just did!!! I just bought tickets to the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra World Tour concert in London, on 24th March 2017!!!

That's huge for a number of reasons, mostly because I'm making plans a year from now, because my health has improved so much I actually can. My therapist is going to be so proud. It's going to be Tati, my cousin Francesca, and me in London, in the same hall as Yoko Shimomura. I'm freaking out! That's one of my favourite composers ever, in one of my favourite cities ever, with Tati and Francesca, it's a dream come true!

Seriously, somebody pinch me right now. *____*
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: simple and clean - me at the top of my lungs
First of all, a big hug to all of you always leaving me wonderful messages! You make me feel all warm and fuzzy and loved, you're the best!

Health update, the side effects are basically over, although I still get tired easily, as the meds will still be in my system for another week. Yesterday, for the first time since this all started, I went shopping on my own. First I went to the hospital to change the bandages on the cvc, then I went to the pharmacy, then to the farmers' market. It was a lovely sunny day, the air was crisp and cold, and I did it all by myself. It felt amazing! I'm slowly winning my old life back, one step at a time. \o/

I also bought a train ticket for the 12th, when I'm going back home for a week. I'm so excited! This time there won't be no side effects slowing me down, I'll even be able to go downtown to the Lush store, and the Disney store, I can't wait!

And now, as promised, fandom news! A couple of weeks ago they released Kingdom Hearts Unchained Chi in North America. I downloaded the apk, and I've been happily playing it ever since. I set up a party, and having so much fun! The only downside is, it consumes battery life like there's no tomorrow, so I always try to play connected to a power outlet.

Last November I started watching Rick and Morty. I stopped after three episodes, not really feeling it. Then recently I read both the creators of Steven Universe and Gravity Falls praising it on twitter, so I decided to give it another go. And I loved it. As it turns out, I just had to wait until the Meeseeks and Destroy episode. I loved how they explore sci-fi concepts, like multiple universes and hive minds, in a new and unique way. And I love, LOVE the fact that it's set in a universe with no god. As an atheist, I really wish there were more shows exploring the universe as ruled by chaos, instead of always having some fate/religion/destiny plot. It's refreshing.

I also watched all the Erased anime. It's one of the best series I've ever seen. And so devastating. I cried once an episode, no kidding. And I loved it to pieces.

I promise I'll try writing more frequently now that I'm feeling better. ♥
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: seal my fate - belly
21 April 2016 @ 04:57 pm
Here I am! Sorry for the wait but the side effects this time around were vicious. No wonder this was the last time, my body literally could not have endured another one. I spent saturday night hugging the toilet, and these meds do not even cause nausea, that's how bad it was. And I spent the last 48 hours with diarrea. After the chemo last wednesday everything ached and hurt for five days straight. My aunt cut what was left of my super short hair two days ago, and now I'm a happy billiard ball who's not shedding everywhere anymore. I still have a couple of weeks left before the effects wear off, but the bad ones should be finally behind me, and the hair should start growing back by late May. I lost my eyebrows too, which makes me look like a puzzled owl.

It was obviously worth it, don't get me wrong, but I'm so glad it's over.

Fandom post to follow because now I have to run since it's herbal tea time, with a slice of my favourite cake that my aunt made this morning before work because I've been feeling so bad. I am being so spoiled here, you have no idea. :D
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: still feeling the waves when you go to bed - lullatones
10 April 2016 @ 05:41 pm
Sorry for disappearing again, it's just been a busy couple of weeks! I had the most wonderful time back at home in Venice, even with all the usual side effects. My aunt stayed for the weekend, then Tati took her place as De Facto Mom, cooking me meals, reminding me to take my meds, and basically spoiling me rotten. The wonderful siblings who own the cat pension drove all the way to my house to bring me Sakura, and she recognized me instantly and acted as if we hadn't been separated for almost six months. There was a lot of purring, a lot of head-butting, and we spent the whole time curled up together. My therapist came to visit, and it took a serious effort not to hug her the whole time. We ate pastries and she took pictures of my cat and it was awesome.

I also played a lot of videogames on my ps4, we watched ice skating championships on tv, binge-watched Gravity Falls, and the remote was mine all mine (I basically turned into Gollum there), and I took long long showers while listening to loud videogame music. To summarize, I lived the single life for two weeks. I love my family a lot, but I missed being the master of my own space. And bathroom. :D

Thus refreshed I took the train back home all by myself, carried my suitcase, and it wasn't tiring or anything. I'm so proud of myself. ^^

And now drumroll because next wednesday comes the eight and final chemo. After that it's immunotherapy every three weeks forever, but that doesn't have side effects and doesn't need premedication. This is the last time with the side effects, the pains, stomachache, hairloss, and now my stupid nails are falling too and my fingertips all feel weird and I keep dropping things. Well, no more of that! Just one more round, and it's over! My uncle has the champagne ready, and I'm so excited I can't think of anything else. *______*

(There's also a bunch of fandom stuff I want to write about here, but I'll save it for another entry)
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Guess where I am right now!


On wednesday I had the seventh chemo, then on the day after my aunt and I caught the train, and 9 hours later I was in my beloved flat in Venice, first time in six months. Yesterday the two wonderful people who've been taking care of Sakura all this time brought her here, and there's Tati too and I'm so ecstatic. Obviously this is going to be a short visit (I'm going back on April 5th), but it's the first of many. My oncologist was very supportive, and she was obviously right: today is the second day of chemo effects, and I'm feeling better than I dared hope! Being back home improved my mood so much my body is reacting accordingly and it's just one happy loop! Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I love living with them, but I missed my home and my cat so much. *_____*

I'm spending the weekend insidee, what with the side effects and everything, but next week I'll try taking a few strolls downtown, shopping at the Disney Store, stuff like that. My aunt is going back on tuesday, since she has to go back to work, but Tati is staying here to tak care of me, so I'm going to be spoiled rotten just like back at home with my aunt and uncle. :D
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: drreams - the cranberries
05 March 2016 @ 10:58 am
I got big news. On tuesday I had a pet scan, the first one after three months of chemo. I was hopeful, but very nervous. After two days my oncologist rang me on the phone to tell me she'd just read the results, and they were great. I cried, I was stunned, I'm just not used to getting good news from oncologists, I just didn't know what to do with my emotions.

Yesterday I had the sixth chemo, and my first visit with my main oncologist (same one from the phonecall) ever since last November. She told me my reaction to this cure has been amazing, and we have to hope it'll go on like this. She added a few new meds to my cure - a shot I have to take every four weeks forever, sort of like insulin, and some vitamins and calcium to strengthen those bones we just finished cleaning up. She told me we'll do eight chemotherapy infusions, because I've endured the side effects amazingly and so we don't have to stop with this one. Cue huge sigh of relief.

So in conclusion, I'm doing great, I'm getting more miraculous meds that make me feel so much better, and I have no idea what I'm feeling. I feel happy, and scared, and confused, and it's all a weird smoothie of emotions. My therapist is super busy this weekend, but she promised me she'll call me as soon as she can. Until then I'm hiding under the covers listening to Gravity Falls fanmixes and eating chocolate.

Also I didn't set myself on fire this morning. I call it a success. :D
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: please, please, please, let me get what I want - the smiths
My hand is doing a lot better. I have a weird set of little orange scars in the shape of my fingerprints on my palm, but otherwise it doesn't hurt and it works perfectly. Yesterday I went to my weekly check-up of the cvc, and when I sheepishly told the nurse what had happened, she replied "those who have nothing happening to me are those who do nothing in their lives". I was so thrown back, I was expecting her to scold me! And I loved her reasoning. *____*

Other than that I've been having the usual side effects: the muscles and bones hurt less, but this time around it's the intestines that have taken the blunt of it. Each new infusion has a different reaction, it's so true. I'm eating yogurt and waiting patiently for the week to be over, as usually the side effects don't last more than 8 days.

Something monumental happened this past week, and it's the Gravity Falls finale. I loved it so much. Three years of my life I was on this wonderful journey, and the finale was the perfect conclusion to it. I cried, I laughed, I cheered, I cried again. I have lots of thoughts about it, but I also don't want to spoil it, so if you want to talk about it in the comments, I'm here! \o/

I also started a Gravity Falls marathon the other day, and I'm already at Carpet Diem. So many memories!
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
Current Music: cruel angel thesis - evangelion